Many many thanks to K, who willingly volunteered to offer his thoughts on the VMAs. Enjoy enjoy enjoy!
me: Clearly I had to start off with Beyoncé. Because as we all know I’m in love with her. Like, I would turn lesbian for Beyoncé.
K: Yes, she's quite an advocate for female empowerment.
me: That’s what you think went you think Beyoncé?
K: Ha-ha. What am I suppose to think?
me: Well clearly!! She’s gorgeous, has a great sense of style, is in a power couple that would, could, and should rule the world, aaaand she’s preggers and she still looks fabulous. Did you not see her performance? When I’m preggers, there’s no way I’m gonna be busting my derriere on the dance floor...
Example A: Look at her earrings in that picture!!
Example B: Look at her! She’s be-yoo-tiful!
Example C: She can freaking dance.
Surely you admit she beyond amazing!
K: Yes, she's considered beautiful by the general populous. Not to mention her wonderful sense of fashion.
me: I mean look, when I’m preggers, I wanna wear a fancy dress and still feel beautiful. she’s like Heidi Klum when she was pregnant. still GORGEOUS. It’s not even fair...
K: She looks quite good, for someone who's having a baby soon.
me: Quite good?!?!? She looks freaking fabulous. Let’s be honest. But on the other end of the spectrum... those inevitable hot messes.
me: We have Nicki Minaj. Why in heaven’s name? Literally, a black Lady Gaga... that can rap. So.. black.
K: Yes, that polygon suit isn't working well for her.
me: Most definitely not her color(s). A hot mess Nicki... I mean, bravo for originality… but there is some logical limit.
K: Yes, well, it's certainly quite creative.
me: I am though, rather a fan of that one red shoe... rather a fuzzy slipper. It’s like a red furry duck!! On your foot. Just one foot..
K: Ah, yes, I'm sure it has a good reason to not have its partner there.
me: Look at this comment someone left on the picture: “It looks like someone pooped a rainbow over her!” Too true... too true. Now Nicki Minaj may try, but there is no more out there than Lady Gaga. Meat dress, anyone?
K: Now who is this?
me: Anyone else notice the “gag” in “Gaga”? She’s her alter ego, Jo Calderone.
me: I know I know. Let it sink in.
K: Ah, I thought she was trying to dispel the rumors of her being a man.
me: Probably… Now I have a serious question for you. How did Katy Perry get nominated for like... 10 different awards? What has she done that deserves that?! Confusion.
K: Ah, how many did she win?
me: Excuse me, 9 VMA nominations. She freaking won video of the year for “Firework”. That video was not good. She had fireworks coming out of her boobs. Certainly not good enough to win Video of the Year. And to top it all off—Katy and Kanye won best collaboration for freaking “ET”. Is MTV kidding me?! That song was not excellent.
K: And the whole alien thing was quite off-putting.
me: Off-putting? it was just plain weird.
K: Lady Gaga weird.
me: But good for Beyoncé winning “Best Choreography”. “Run the World”. That dancing was beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes.
K: Ah, yes, once again advocating for female empowerment.
me: I do agree with that statement in this case. Beyoncé freaking rocks. now Adele did pretty well for herself at the VMAs in terms of wins...
me: Although I don’t understand rolling the deep video. did u watch the Kingsley video about rolling in the deep?
K: Kingsley? No, what's the synopsis?
me: Basically him ranting about "Rolling in the Deep". the most hilarious crap I’ve ever watched in my life.
K: Ah, noted. I'll be sure to check it out some time.
me: Question (though you may not know the answer)... has not Joe Jonas gotten more attractive?
K: Ehh, about the same in my opinion.
me: No but I’m serious... he has definitely gotten more attractive. maybe it’s the hair. And the fact that I am totally crushing on his blazer..
K: Well, he's been beaten by Justin Bieber for his main audience.
me: Oh dear lord Justin Bieber... I can’t even. No. Pass. I don’t wanna talk about him. I really just don’t appreciate him that much. And you know what’s freaking hilarious?
K: I think her infamy is a bit overrated. I mean, I hold her to the same level as about Justin Bieber, or even the Jonas Brothers.
me: I mean.. did you not see her in the "Last Friday Night" video? She was jamming.
K: Oh, yes, I saw that.
me: Was not she be-yoo-tiful?
K: Yes, I'm sure there are some strange kids out there that think so.
me: Those like the aliens that were in ET...
K: Ah, yes yes.
me: But you know honestly. She doesn’t look too bad. But still.. she’s still Rebecca Black.
K: True, true.
me: And SHOCKER (for those Big Brother fans...) I just wanna close with Beyoncé.
me: I want her jacket. I would wear it around America and just call myself Beyoncé for a day
K: And I'm sure everyone would believe it was her.
me: Of course. I got the ego of Beyoncé. I’m serious. “Ego” by Beyoncé is legit one of my fave songs.
me: Alrighty then buddy boo.
me: Let’s wrap this thing up.
K: Thanks for the name…
me: I really think that’ll be your permanent nickname...