May 5, 2011

The royal wedding part 2: the hats– the ugly and the downright atrocious

So you've been waiting for the next part in A's Royal Wedding Commentary have you? Sure... I know you're just being pleasant, but here it is anyway!

Me: Okay... Are you ready to launch into the ladies' hats?
Him: ...I don't think I'll ever be ready for this.
Me: The question was more theoretical. You don't exactly have a choice...
Him: ...

 Queen Elizabeth II (center) with Carole Middleton (left) and the Duchess of Cornwall (right).

Me: Here's our first group of eccentric hats. What do you think?
Him: Well, this is our most "normal" group I'd think.
Me: I'd agree, but between the bright yellow top hat that the Queen wears and the weird flipped up brim of the Duchess of Cornwall's hat...
Him: ...It's weird.
Me: That's what I was saying. I think Carole Middleton's hat is relatively normal.
Him: Her daughter's getting married and she doesn't have the excuse of a title to wear a Lady Gaga piece on her head.
Me: That explains it. But what about Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall?
Him: What about her?
Me: Why isn't she wearing a totally all out hat?
Him: Hmm... well after the late Princess Diana, people don't exactly love her.
Me: True.

Queen Sofia, Prince Felipe, and Princess Letizia of Spain.

Him: And there's the Queen of Spain with her mini entourage!
Me: Nice way of putting it.
Him: Why thank you.
Me: ...
Him: So what do you think of the Queen and the Princess's hats?
Me: I actually like them. The Princess's hat especially. I think it's quite elegant looking in that dusty rose colour. It looks like something out of the '20s!
Him: Don't get too excited.
Me: Oh, I won't!
Him: That was sarcasm.
Me: Sure...
Him: Anyways... What do you think of the Queen's hat?
Me: I think it looks quite cute looking. I can't help but think "Aww...".
Him: I agree with that one. I wish I had a granny that wore hats like that!
Me: ...Not what I was going for...

 Miriam Gonzalez Durantez 

Him: Look! There's a flamengo on her head!
Me: And that had so much potential to be a nice looking hat...
Him: You mean "nicer".
Me: From what I can see at this angle, I love her dress with the sophisticated dots. The hat's colours are wonderful and bring a pop of colour to the outfit...
Him: But the shape...
Me: Exactly. The shape... It makes me sad.
Him: 'Nough said. Let's move on before you start crying.

Socialite Tara Palmer–Tomkinson and whoever it is behind her.

Him: That's not felt is it?
Me: Let's hope not.
Him: On the bright side, it looks really soft as a blanket. It just looks so blue... Even if I was colour blind I'd probably be able to see that blue from kilometers away. 
Me: Who's that behind the very blue Tara?
Him: I don't know. I can't see with the bright blue in my eyes. It burns!
Me: Seriously. Who is that?
Him: Look her up online.
Me: I can't find her.
Him: Oh, she's probably not important enough. 
Me: But she got invited to the wedding of the year. 
Him: I don't think that's saying much. I got an invite.
Me: Good point.
Him: ...Hey!

Marina and Ben Fogle 

Me: Here are the Fogles.
Him: The who?
Me: The Fogles.
Him: Who are?
Me: No clue. But...
Him: Let me guess– you like her hat?
Me:  Not really. I think it sort of looks like a macaroon. 
Him: Oh I see that... I'm hungry.
Me: Anyways. I wanted to talk about Ben Fogle's hair.
Him: What is up with his hair?
Me: My question exactly.
Him: It's poofy and only the top's blonde...
Me: I think you've found your new infatuation.

 Queen Margrethe II of Denmark

Him: A bird molted on the Queen of Denmark's head.
Me: Molted?
Him: I'm serious. A bird molted on her head.
Me: I see that! 
Him: A blue bird just dropped feathers on her head.
Me: Man... I do see that.
Him: I told you. A bird molted on the Queen of Denmark's head.
Me: Poor Queen Margrethe.
Him: Poor bird!

Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice of York.

Him: Wow... so this is the hat that has it's own facebook page!
Me: If you're talking about Princess Beatrice's hat, then yup. It has about 5 facebook pages all to it's self. Among them my favorite would have to be "Princess Beatrice's Ridiculous Hat Killed Osama Bin Laden".
Him: I think I already joined that one. 
Me: And the sad thing is that the group "LOVE Princess Beatrice's Hat"has the fewest members.
Him: I don't blame them. 
Me: As a work of art, Princess Beatrice's hat is just brill. But as a hat...
Him: It's the worst hat in the history of worst ugly hats.
Me: To put it bluntly.
Him: Her sister's seems a bit better.
Me: Princess Eugenie's hat seems a bit more... restrained. 
Him: Good thing too. It's scary enough.
Me: Well in short, the princesses of York have outdone themselves.
Him: And that's to put it lightly.
Me: That concludes our segment on hats. 
Him: We hope you enjoyed it as much as we've enjoyed making it.
Me: Remember you can always comment below and tell us what you liked so our next one will be even better!

12 comments:

  1. LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i'm a writer to this blog,yes, but i really have just got to say i love this. LOVE LOVE LOVE! we'll have to do more posts in this format. have any more for us to look forward to?!?1 :D

    ps: the answer to that questions is yet.
    pps: a bird that molted. classy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What do you mean by "the answer to that questions is yet"?

    ANYWAYS: I ADORE this post and the one before it. Is there a way to suscribe to Tirvani? My classmates and I would love to! Way to go A and the oh so mysterious "HIM"! We <3 <3 <3 you!

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  4. i was searching hats from the wedding for project for college (curse greek!), but this was above and beyond what i was hoping for! i actually read the WHOLE thing instead of working on that said project!

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  5. do you have a boyfriend?

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  6. To the 3rd Comment-

    it was supposed to be "the answer to that question is yes" meaning, there will be more to come in this format. stay tuned!

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  7. ahaha, love this soooo much.

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  8. molting bird... flamengo... best post ever~~~~~~~

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  9. YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A'S COMMENTARY AND I HOPE THERE WILL BE ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!

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  10. too. cool. for. words.

    seriously.

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  11. i. hate. the. hats.
    THEY DRIVE ME INSANE DO PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM?!?!?!?!

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  12. hahahaha they make me laugh!

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