The royal wedding part 2: the hats– the ugly and the downright atrocious

So you've been waiting for the next part in A's Royal Wedding Commentary have you? Sure... I know you're just being pleasant, but here it is anyway!

Me: Okay... Are you ready to launch into the ladies' hats?

Him: ...I don't think I'll ever be ready for this.

Me: The question was more theoretical. You don't exactly have a choice...

Him: ...

 Queen Elizabeth II (center) with Carole Middleton (left) and the Duchess of Cornwall (right).

Me: Here's our first group of eccentric hats. What do you think?

Him: Well, this is our most "normal" group I'd think.

Me: I'd agree, but between the bright yellow top hat that the Queen wears and the weird flipped up brim of the Duchess of Cornwall's hat...

Him: ...It's weird.

Me: That's what I was saying. I think Carole Middleton's hat is relatively normal.

Him: Her daughter's getting married and she doesn't have the excuse of a title to wear a Lady Gaga piece on her head.

Me: That explains it. But what about Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall?

Him: What about her?

Me: Why isn't she wearing a totally all out hat?

Him: Hmm... well after the late Princess Diana, people don't exactly love her.

Me: True.

Queen Sofia, Prince Felipe, and Princess Letizia of Spain.

Him: And there's the Queen of Spain with her mini entourage!

Me: Nice way of putting it.

Him: Why thank you.

Me: ...

Him: So what do you think of the Queen and the Princess's hats?

Me: I actually like them. The Princess's hat especially. I think it's quite elegant looking in that dusty rose colour. It looks like something out of the '20s!

Him: Don't get too excited.

Me: Oh, I won't!

Him: That was sarcasm.

Me: Sure...

Him: Anyways... What do you think of the Queen's hat?

Me: I think it looks quite cute looking. I can't help but think "Aww...".

Him: I agree with that one. I wish I had a granny that wore hats like that!

Me: ...Not what I was going for...

 Miriam Gonzalez Durantez 

Him: Look! There's a flamengo on her head!

Me: And that had so much potential to be a nice looking hat...

Him: You mean "nicer".

Me: From what I can see at this angle, I love her dress with the sophisticated dots. The hat's colours are wonderful and bring a pop of colour to the outfit...

Him: But the shape...

Me: Exactly. The shape... It makes me sad.

Him: 'Nough said. Let's move on before you start crying.

Socialite Tara Palmer–Tomkinson and whoever it is behind her.

Him: That's not felt is it?

Me: Let's hope not.

Him: On the bright side, it looks really soft as a blanket. It just looks so blue... Even if I was colour blind I'd probably be able to see that blue from kilometers away. 

Me: Who's that behind the very blue Tara?

Him: I don't know. I can't see with the bright blue in my eyes. It burns!

Me: Seriously. Who is that?

Him: Look her up online.

Me: I can't find her.

Him: Oh, she's probably not important enough. 

Me: But she got invited to the wedding of the year. 

Him: I don't think that's saying much. I got an invite.

Me: Good point.

Him: ...Hey!

Marina and Ben Fogle 

Me: Here are the Fogles.

Him: The who?

Me: The Fogles.

Him: Who are?

Me: No clue. But...

Him: Let me guess– you like her hat?

Me:  Not really. I think it sort of looks like a macaroon. 

Him: Oh I see that... I'm hungry.

Me: Anyways. I wanted to talk about Ben Fogle's hair.

Him: What is up with his hair?

Me: My question exactly.

Him: It's poofy and only the top's blonde...

Me: I think you've found your new infatuation.

 Queen Margrethe II of Denmark

Him: A bird molted on the Queen of Denmark's head.

Me: Molted?

Him: I'm serious. A bird molted on her head.

Me: I see that! 

Him: A blue bird just dropped feathers on her head.

Me: Man... I do see that.

Him: I told you. A bird molted on the Queen of Denmark's head.

Me: Poor Queen Margrethe.

Him: Poor bird!

Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice of York.

Him: Wow... so this is the hat that has it's own facebook page!

Me: If you're talking about Princess Beatrice's hat, then yup. It has about 5 facebook pages all to it's self. Among them my favorite would have to be "Princess Beatrice's Ridiculous Hat Killed Osama Bin Laden".

Him: I think I already joined that one. 

Me: And the sad thing is that the group "LOVE Princess Beatrice's Hat"has the fewest members.

Him: I don't blame them. 

Me: As a work of art, Princess Beatrice's hat is just brill. But as a hat...

Him: It's the worst hat in the history of worst ugly hats.

Me: To put it bluntly.

Him: Her sister's seems a bit better.

Me: Princess Eugenie's hat seems a bit more... restrained. 

Him: Good thing too. It's scary enough.

Me: Well in short, the princesses of York have outdone themselves.

Him: And that's to put it lightly.

Me: That concludes our segment on hats. 

Him: We hope you enjoyed it as much as we've enjoyed making it.

Me: Remember you can always comment below and tell us what you liked so our next one will be even better!